AUTHOR: Sarab DATE: 6:04:00 AM ----- BODY:

I think it is because I am so disconnected from any sort of social community. And in college, at least there was a living learning community, which could be propelled if not by the communist will to love and help the other fellow, at least by the will to learn and have hedonistic fun and new experiences.

At home there is nothing like that. I have attempted to get in contact with a million people and I chat it up over AIM and bullshit like that, but no one wants to get together and just hang out. Granted life is boring, and maybe that is a justification for friends really wanting an exciting idea before they commit to deciding in favor of a social gathering. But the likelihood of coming up with a good idea, is higher when a bunch of people are sitting in a room together. The point is that we need to kick some major ass.

No that is not the point, there are different levels of human motivations and whatnot. What is being demonstrated here, is that in spite of having my basic living expenses paid for, I am still unhappy, because I am socially disconnected. I have developed a refined taste for happiness, which sucks, because the standard is set higher, and it will take ever more to please me; but it is good, because maybe that will drive me to be more creative, and search for more interesting pleasures.

The existential joys of discovery only go so far, and they don't quite cut it for me. I need to solve sociological problems, while knowing how the material world works around me.

--------